So, we've been engaged now for a little under 22 months. When we were first engaged we were in a position where we could change our lifestyle slightly and start saving with relative ease. We planned on saving as quickly as possible and getting married within a year to 18 months at the very latest, we had everything planned and I had even bought myself a vintage tiara and designed the wedding invites. Because of where we wanted to get married we wouldn't actually be able to book anything until a maximum of 7 months before the date - this turned out to be very, very lucky.
A couple of months after we made our plans we were forced to move to the other end of the country. We were the victims of a both a very violent attack and a fraud scam which left us with absolutely nothing. Now, don't get me wrong, neither of us are silly but we lost a lot of money through very careful scammers (who we discovered played the same scam on three other couples at the same time) and desperation at needing to get out of a difficult situation caused by the person who inflicted the attack on my fiance. Moving meant that we had to leave our jobs, our home, our friends and my family behind - we had nothing. On top of that my fiance was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder and we basically entered the hardest time of our lives ever.
So obviously this meant that there were no wedding bells chiming at any point in the near future. I'm still pin, pin, pinning away on pinterest with wedding ideas and thinking of lots of pretty things but there won't be a wedding any time soon.
Now things are changing again. We're having a baby (woohoo!) and, although we're not religious, I had hoped to be married before the baby was born. Realistically, we probably wouldn't be able to afford a wedding (even a little registrar office wedding) anyway but it is something we're thinking about. But I can't help thinking that if I get married with a bump everyone will think that I'm getting married because of the bump and that isn't something I want. What do you think about it?
I guess it doesn't really matter. I know that we're in love, I know that one day we will get married and I know that regardless of when that day is, our baby will be part of a strong, happy family, full of laughter and love. That's what really matters.
On a side note: I said once that I'm scared of who will read this blog and what they'll think about me because of what I write. I think I'm over that. Although I don't want to give you all the gory details of everything that has ever happened or the effects they have, I think it's important to explain why I think the way I do about certain things. So I'm going to try and talk about things. Maybe it will help? Getting all the bad stuff out can only leave room for the good surely. And we deserve some good.