Tuesday 15 May 2012

I don't think I've got the hang of this blogging malarky at all.

I've always thought of blogs as places for people to talk about whatever they want or need to, whenever they want or need to. Somewhere they can talk about things that excited them or things that make them cry, somewhere they can share happy times and sad times and perhaps show off some great ideas along the way.

So why, when I'm going through a particularly tough time, do I hide from my blog? Why don't I want to write anything down? I know from experience that writing things out can be as good as talking to someone you love about it - a great therapy and way to clear your brain. But I just can't bring myself to do it.

Why?

Because I'm scared someone will read it! How ridiculous! I'm scared that someone that knows me will read it and then either take offence because they're part of the problem or get upset because they didn't know there was something wrong and not know how to help (or because I didn't tell them in the first place).

I'm a creative person, I make different things when different moods take me (my house is never cleaner than when I'm angry!). A couple of days ago I was so sad that I spontaneously wrote a poem...a poem! I haven't done that since I was a hormonal teenager!

There is no where 'safe' for me to talk. So I've been hiding away and trying to cope on my own.

Well that isn't working.

I'm not entirely sure on the point of this. I needed to get something out without actually getting anything out. I guess now it's out.

4 comments:

  1. If you ever need to talk you have my email address... or DM me on Twitter. It really is good to talk xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Firstly, ((Hugs)). I'm sorry you're having a tough time and hope it's something that clears up soon.

    I am pretty new to blogging (been going a month) and I have had days where I really struggle to talk anything 'real' to me. I have a form of depression in the shape of PMDD (premenstrual dysphoria disorder) which is newly diagnosed so not got my head around that one yet. And I am concious that I'm saying things I don't want some people to read - people that know me. For fear they'll judge me.

    I guess all we can do is blog what we're comfortable with, if we'd talk to our friends about it then we can blog it, if not then a private journal or unpublished outpouring of emotion is fine. :) If you change your mind you can always publish it later, but can never 'unpublish' it if you see what I mean. not truly.

    I don't advertise my blog on my main FB page as have some friends on their I don't think will read my musings in the right light. My judgement against them I know, but I'm only human. lol

    Anyway, if you fancy a chat anytime you know where I am and sometimes a stranger is a good listening ear! x x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I read something recently 'Facebook is where we hide the truth from our friends, Twitter is where we spill our hearts to strangers' I wonder where blogs fit into that?

      I've not heard of PMDD before, I hope you are getting the support you need for it xx

      Delete