I don't think I've got the hang of this blogging malarky at all.
I've always thought of blogs as places for people to talk about whatever they want or need to, whenever they want or need to. Somewhere they can talk about things that excited them or things that make them cry, somewhere they can share happy times and sad times and perhaps show off some great ideas along the way.
So why, when I'm going through a particularly tough time, do I hide from my blog? Why don't I want to write anything down? I know from experience that writing things out can be as good as talking to someone you love about it - a great therapy and way to clear your brain. But I just can't bring myself to do it.
Because I'm scared someone will read it! How ridiculous! I'm scared that someone that knows me will read it and then either take offence because they're part of the problem or get upset because they didn't know there was something wrong and not know how to help (or because I didn't tell them in the first place).
I'm a creative person, I make different things when different moods take me (my house is never cleaner than when I'm angry!). A couple of days ago I was so sad that I spontaneously wrote a poem...a poem! I haven't done that since I was a hormonal teenager!
There is no where 'safe' for me to talk. So I've been hiding away and trying to cope on my own.
Well that isn't working.
I'm not entirely sure on the point of this. I needed to get something out without actually getting anything out. I guess now it's out.